I’m autistic, that ‘not often in need of support’ type — which simply means I can scream quetly inside myself when overwhelmed, and usually handle the meltdowns on my own. 

The way I feel is always a collage of reality, everything is happening at the same time and from all sides. In this project, through multi-exposure, intuitive texts and working with my emotional states, I show the sensations of the world of a person with autism spectrum disorder.

Basically I feel not-quite-as-human, enchanted existence, you either talk or walk, not all at once. I feel inundated with emotion, and simultaneously unable to join in.

Our world is still almost unbearable for autistic people, whether you cope without support or not. A tube journey can be insurmountable without dropping out of your life for a week, and so can be a meeting in a pub. Autistic people, we live like aliens on a planet with a different — inappropriate — air. We have to go out, clearly calculating the amount of air in the breathing cylinder with us, otherwise we suffocate. 

But yes, there is joy here, too. The physical happiness of shimmering colours, of a shining world. Sounds that make me happy — as powerful as sounds that displease. I want you to see it, all of it. I want the photographs to touch your eyes the same way the world touches me through the senses — and makes me numb.

This project I am doing not only for myself, but also for those who are non-verbal and cannot express themselves through art, who are excluded from the society and from public dialogue. If, thanks to this project, someone gets support and understanding instead of judgement and rejection, it means to me that a breath of air has been added to someone, not taken away.